TWiNW: Genny–or DJ

Genny set aside her own reading this week to read a piece by her grandson, DJ.  The piece was called Deliverance, and will be published in a school publication.  DJ writes of a time when his younger brother rescued him from an accidental plunge into deep water.

The story was vibrantly told, with lots of great word pictures and use of senses that evoked the feeling of running through a forest, and the feel of being underwater, surrounded, unable to come up.

It was also a touching story of a powerful moment between two brothers, and the willingness of one to risk his life to save the other.

vosika-blog-drowning

We talked about word choices–strong, unique verbs vs mundane, overused, less descriptive verbs, and active verbs vs. passive verbs.  Did the water ‘manipulate’ him or did it ‘toss’ or ‘throw’ or ‘plunge’ him?  Did water merely ‘exit’ the throat, or is it more accurate, visual, and descriptive to say it spewed, shot, erupted, or gushed?  “We began to talk” as opposed to, “we talked,” or better yet, giving actual dialogue.

To read more about Genny’s books, see her website.  Her grandson DJ is also an accomplished musician, singer, and songwriter.  We’ve enjoyed his music many times at our Night Writers’ Pool Parties.  See his site at DysFunctional Holiday.

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