TWiNW: Laura

After reading up to nearly the end of The Battle is O’er, due in 2017, Laura has been filling in scenes from earlier in the book.  In this week’s readings, Amy sees Shawn’s new solarium for the first time; Amy and Shawn discuss forgiveness in regards to Dana, and Shawn’s infidelity with her; and Shawn tries to convince Dana to proffer a genuine apology to Amy.

We discussed the detailed description of the new addition, and whether that overshadowed the emotional aspects of the scene, or distracted from the plot or was necessary to it.  Is there a reason to have such description of Shawn’s new addition?

Laura discussed Shawn’s intentions with this new addition he’s built, his reasons for building it (which are very practical) and his reasons for building it so elaborately and in such a rush.  Do those reasons, and how they come through in the description, eventually add to the story and an understanding of who Shawn is?

We talked about maybe cutting the word count on this particular scene, because maybe the real issue is not the elaborateness of the solarium, but the number of words devoted to it.  As of this writing, it has been cut by almost 25%–from 1200 words to 926–with no real loss.  Laura is still seeking to trim it down to 800 words.

We talked about the difference in the reader’s perception of Amy when seen through third person scenes written in someone else’s point of view, versus seen through Amy’s own words, written in first person.  This difference in how she appears has been a point of discussion in the past.

We discussed re-wording Dana reaching into her cupboard and pulling down two low balls.  Well, we’ll think about that!

 

 

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